he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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