Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
jump out the window naked night went bad
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