just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just sucked dick on a ferry
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
