So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize