Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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