I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
