I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
