Im at strip club and am horny
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
