I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize