Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
