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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis

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• (562): View more from California

  he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.

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  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.

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• (845): View more from New York

  Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.

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  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love

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• (914): View more from New York

  Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.

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• (707): View more from California

  Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked

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