Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Pants 0. Shit 1.

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  (269): Pants 0. Shit 1. http://tfl.nu/y752
  Replies (8) Good night (910) Bad night (3300)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....

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  (936): Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas.... http://tfl.nu/nx5u
  Replies (16) Good night (755) Bad night (5189)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck

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  (773): i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck http://tfl.nu/4030
  Replies (24) Good night (4800) Bad night (966)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Colt 45 out of anything is classy.

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  (704): I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy. (919): Colt 45 out of anything is classy. http://tfl.nu/9zxf
  Replies (17) Good night (4535) Bad night (851)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?

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  (407): Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ? http://tfl.nu/brtl
  Replies (10) Good night (4049) Bad night (1242)
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  (916): View more from California

  This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here

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  (916): This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here http://tfl.nu/hb41
  Replies (16) Good night (4840) Bad night (1074)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.

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  (864): Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw. http://tfl.nu/6c9n
  Replies (21) Good night (3439) Bad night (2460)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it

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  (678): He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it http://tfl.nu/jk9d
  Replies (18) Good night (9704) Bad night (1058)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.

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  (571): I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend. http://tfl.nu/5ie3
  Replies (11) Good night (2293) Bad night (1164)
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  (707): View more from California

  I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class

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  (707): I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class http://tfl.nu/fiu2
  Replies (12) Good night (4367) Bad night (927)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own

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  (519): his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own http://tfl.nu/8vl5
  Replies (11) Good night (1719) Bad night (3617)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.

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  (506): Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes. http://tfl.nu/7d2r
  Replies (2) Good night (1842) Bad night (589)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.

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  (319): More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy. http://tfl.nu/fj2g
  Replies (2) Good night (988) Bad night (472)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.

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  (318): Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass. http://tfl.nu/dq3p
  Replies (8) Good night (1265) Bad night (467)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.

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  (405): Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk. http://tfl.nu/bh9n
  Replies (2) Good night (946) Bad night (266)

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