I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.