Texts From Last Night

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  (719): View more from Colorado

  wanna go halves on a baby?

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  (719): wanna go halves on a baby? http://tfl.nu/z3oe
  Replies (18) Good night (1253) Bad night (1010)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake

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  (203): the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake http://tfl.nu/cxtf
  Replies (67) Good night (3102) Bad night (922)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.

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  (412): woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered. http://tfl.nu/z2cy
  Replies (28) Good night (11053) Bad night (854)
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  (315): View more from New York

  so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese

  (315): View more from New York

  here comes the puke

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  (315): so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese (315): here comes the puke http://tfl.nu/32gj
  Replies (18) Good night (1183) Bad night (4534)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.

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  (816): So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me. http://tfl.nu/bb44
  Replies (23) Good night (1560) Bad night (5390)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.

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  (509): Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully. http://tfl.nu/j9yb
  Replies (9) Good night (3527) Bad night (1356)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.

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  (631): It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots. http://tfl.nu/yevq
  Replies (1) Good night (2379) Bad night (623)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"

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  (515): When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation" http://tfl.nu/vmn5
  Replies (10) Good night (3634) Bad night (1128)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?

  (941): View more from Florida

  I was attacked by whores

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  You threw up on yourself again didn't you?

  (941): View more from Florida

  They were strong whores

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  (609): How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club? (941): I was attacked by whores (609): You threw up on yourself again didn't you? (941): They were strong whores http://tfl.nu/xoz8
  Replies (7) Good night (2131) Bad night (663)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.

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  (479): As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man. http://tfl.nu/2x85
  Replies (2) Good night (925) Bad night (473)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?

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  (231): Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night? http://tfl.nu/zmtw
  Replies (2) Good night (1239) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..

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  (614): This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day.. http://tfl.nu/r5zy
  Replies (4) Good night (1031) Bad night (318)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.

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  (202): When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast. http://tfl.nu/8acz
  Replies (3) Good night (416) Bad night (1194)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.

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  (508): It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news. http://tfl.nu/vv9l
  Replies (0) Good night (399) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"

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  (716): I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?" http://tfl.nu/zqsu
  Replies (3) Good night (49) Bad night (145)

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