Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.