Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.

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  (586): sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey. http://tfl.nu/7b75
  Replies (15) Good night (3524) Bad night (572)
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  (310): View more from California

  The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.

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  (310): The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss. http://tfl.nu/o71q
  Replies (23) Good night (1308) Bad night (4784)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her

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  (913): I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her http://tfl.nu/1ar3
  Replies (39) Good night (5807) Bad night (1413)
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  (585): View more from New York

  are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?

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  (585): are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet? http://tfl.nu/shbs
  Replies (31) Good night (5191) Bad night (1841)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....

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  (803): The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german.... http://tfl.nu/l2d8
  Replies (42) Good night (12914) Bad night (987)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward

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  (775): she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward http://tfl.nu/zi7g
  Replies (10) Good night (5763) Bad night (1218)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.

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  (630): Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches. http://tfl.nu/xanx
  Replies (10) Good night (3412) Bad night (1182)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere

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  (617): I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere http://tfl.nu/b03s
  Replies (10) Good night (3357) Bad night (1239)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?

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  (662): Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened? http://tfl.nu/nd5l
  Replies (6) Good night (3074) Bad night (1087)
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  (980): View more from North Carolina

  It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.

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  (980): It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire. http://tfl.nu/zb3d
  Replies (3) Good night (2020) Bad night (980)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.

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  (575): I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here" (575): Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life. http://tfl.nu/q6db
  Replies (9) Good night (2194) Bad night (690)
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  (530): View more from California

  So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?

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  (530): So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right? http://tfl.nu/yok0
  Replies (10) Good night (1386) Bad night (554)
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  (925): View more from California

  I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.

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  (925): I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King. http://tfl.nu/3lhe
  Replies (2) Good night (656) Bad night (184)
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  (914): View more from New York

  It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.

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  (914): It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back. http://tfl.nu/4sgh
  Replies (1) Good night (161) Bad night (557)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.

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  (240): Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water. http://tfl.nu/b3c7
  Replies (3) Good night (373) Bad night (254)

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