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Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
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