i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
