the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
