He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Randomize
