one two three fourrrrnication!
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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