i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
