what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
