Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
