From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
