i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I think a kid would responsible me up
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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