I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
