she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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