I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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