Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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