dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
