I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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