wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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