shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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