I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
