Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
