smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize