Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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