this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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