I just saw a hot homeless man
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He has the fingertips of a God
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