Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
