so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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