yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
