he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
