What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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