Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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