i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
