I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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