We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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