Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
