i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
