First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
