So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My ass is underappreciated
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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