I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
