It's like God shit irony all over that family
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
