Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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