I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
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you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
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I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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