ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
