It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
