Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The adults are the big ones right?
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