im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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