Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
