Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Bring me that man meat
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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