He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
