he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
